Not my forte to write about the softer side which is supposedly a right brain function, yeah... I mean emotions, those feelings we can't do without and can't live with-LOVE which with it's double edged sword simultaneously puts you on cloud 9 and brings you down to the ground reality with a thud -weird isn't it? Well... I believe that's what love is all about.
Love- the word inspires something mushy and romantic and also reminds me of the central theme depicted invariably in all Bollywood movies embedded with singing and dancing around the trees- is that all about love? Young people, starry-eyed, absent-minded, love lorn youth yearning to be in the arms of their loved one, poets being born, love letters, rather e-mails and sms in the modern context etc etc... To be in love is the most beautiful feeling on earth and to be without it is like having missed out on a vital experience supposedly brought about by one of the most vital organs of the human anatomy.It has inspired countless poets, numerous melodies , umpteen books and of course the ubiquitous movies!
Before digging any deeper let me try to separate the love that I am trying explore herein from the love for parents, children, siblings and friends and move ahead without bringing in further complexity :)
Is love necessary to live? Well yes of course! One does need constant reassurance and support; a source of deriving strength to push on further with life; to tell you that life is precious and you are not a selfish being, that you need to live for someone other than yourself; and what else would you call it but love- be it from anyone- family, friends, lover, spouse!
Does love hurt? Ask anyone who has been or in a relationship and you will see a vigorous nod of the head and hear an unanimously YES. If it hurts why do people fall in love? That's an eternally unanswered question and an attempt to answer it would be no less than Hara Kiri! :D The hurt brings with it a pleasure which can't be replaced with anything else, then wouldn't you be called a sadist?
Talking of love or be it any relationship the biggest killer I believe is EXPECTATION. That's the root of all evil! Such a strong statement- well yes, I believe so. It hurts to see someone you love giving a little more attention than you would like to your best friend-what else is it if not a by product of expectation from your lover? He/she forgets your birthday, or anniversary and you are greeted with volley of angry remarks. He praises the pretty girl at the coffee shop and she sulks. She is seen talking to a guy with whom he has forbidden her to talk to and he threatens to beat the shit out of him... and countless other instances. And no points for guessing this leads to over possessiveness and lo and behold trouble is brewing... Fights, tears, angry exchanges and of course they do 'make-up' only to end up in a similar situation again. And who can forget the ' you have no time for me' remark so oft heard :)
How to avoid all this? Well my take is forget about being in love if you want to avoid all this :) there's no fun otherwise you see, but it's a different story that it's the bystander who has all the fun while you have your share of heart ache.
Why do people fall in love? Easy answer- blame the hormones :) I believe it's not only that, it's sometimes the circumstances that one is in too plays a role to bring two people together. Circumstances could be anything from a common background to common hobbies to common classes to common friends! and could even extend to common problems to maybe loneliness, or possibly forced to be together, not to forget desperation due to peer pressure since all your best buddies have a bf/gf and you cannot do without one.Of course there are instances of lust under the guise of love which lead many a young heart to finally end up broken!
Why do people fall out of love? Why do relationships end?It is seen more often than not people suffer and to end the sufferings stem it from the root- end the relationship. But is it really the end of all problems? I believe not. In today's world you maybe blame it on changing lifestyles, lack of time, empowerment of women, exposure to the Western world and it's vices, lack of patience and thousands of other reasons.... but deep within every man or woman knows that it's the people who are to blame on having fallen victim so easily to the aforementioned reasons. Everyone wants the easier way out, no one wants to compromise. With lesser social stigma attached, one has new found freedom to explore greener pastures on realizing that the current 'field' has lost its golden charm. But of course in a lot of cases it does make sense to make a quick exit when a good amount of sincere effort has gone into maintaining the relationship. But easier said than done- how does one decide when to draw the line?
The problem's not with love but with the people who are in it and know not how to handle it. You need 2 hands to clap and hence co-operation from both partners is necessary to ensure a harmonious and fruitful relationship. With a similar logic not one but both are to be blamed for a troublesome situation; but as I had heard someone saying Love is Irrational... Long live love and it's irrationality- only then could be produced more matter for the silver screen :P
Would I fall in love? Ha ha ha... I love myself too much to let myself suffer. Unless under some life threatening compulsion I would say that the farther away I am from this vicious trap the better. Just kidding folks!!! Live and let live... :D. One life- Live life king size-love or no love
PS: The inspiration behind penning down my thoughts has been another blog which I just read a while ago :)
Let me also mention that I have left out the psychopath and sadist cases who derive pleasure out of torturing in the name of love- those who seek love to hide under it's false pretense to gain acceptance and to shield one's insecurity. I thought that such cases did not fall under the 'normal' love cases.
Love- the word inspires something mushy and romantic and also reminds me of the central theme depicted invariably in all Bollywood movies embedded with singing and dancing around the trees- is that all about love? Young people, starry-eyed, absent-minded, love lorn youth yearning to be in the arms of their loved one, poets being born, love letters, rather e-mails and sms in the modern context etc etc... To be in love is the most beautiful feeling on earth and to be without it is like having missed out on a vital experience supposedly brought about by one of the most vital organs of the human anatomy.It has inspired countless poets, numerous melodies , umpteen books and of course the ubiquitous movies!
Before digging any deeper let me try to separate the love that I am trying explore herein from the love for parents, children, siblings and friends and move ahead without bringing in further complexity :)
Is love necessary to live? Well yes of course! One does need constant reassurance and support; a source of deriving strength to push on further with life; to tell you that life is precious and you are not a selfish being, that you need to live for someone other than yourself; and what else would you call it but love- be it from anyone- family, friends, lover, spouse!
Does love hurt? Ask anyone who has been or in a relationship and you will see a vigorous nod of the head and hear an unanimously YES. If it hurts why do people fall in love? That's an eternally unanswered question and an attempt to answer it would be no less than Hara Kiri! :D The hurt brings with it a pleasure which can't be replaced with anything else, then wouldn't you be called a sadist?
Talking of love or be it any relationship the biggest killer I believe is EXPECTATION. That's the root of all evil! Such a strong statement- well yes, I believe so. It hurts to see someone you love giving a little more attention than you would like to your best friend-what else is it if not a by product of expectation from your lover? He/she forgets your birthday, or anniversary and you are greeted with volley of angry remarks. He praises the pretty girl at the coffee shop and she sulks. She is seen talking to a guy with whom he has forbidden her to talk to and he threatens to beat the shit out of him... and countless other instances. And no points for guessing this leads to over possessiveness and lo and behold trouble is brewing... Fights, tears, angry exchanges and of course they do 'make-up' only to end up in a similar situation again. And who can forget the ' you have no time for me' remark so oft heard :)
How to avoid all this? Well my take is forget about being in love if you want to avoid all this :) there's no fun otherwise you see, but it's a different story that it's the bystander who has all the fun while you have your share of heart ache.
Why do people fall in love? Easy answer- blame the hormones :) I believe it's not only that, it's sometimes the circumstances that one is in too plays a role to bring two people together. Circumstances could be anything from a common background to common hobbies to common classes to common friends! and could even extend to common problems to maybe loneliness, or possibly forced to be together, not to forget desperation due to peer pressure since all your best buddies have a bf/gf and you cannot do without one.Of course there are instances of lust under the guise of love which lead many a young heart to finally end up broken!
Why do people fall out of love? Why do relationships end?It is seen more often than not people suffer and to end the sufferings stem it from the root- end the relationship. But is it really the end of all problems? I believe not. In today's world you maybe blame it on changing lifestyles, lack of time, empowerment of women, exposure to the Western world and it's vices, lack of patience and thousands of other reasons.... but deep within every man or woman knows that it's the people who are to blame on having fallen victim so easily to the aforementioned reasons. Everyone wants the easier way out, no one wants to compromise. With lesser social stigma attached, one has new found freedom to explore greener pastures on realizing that the current 'field' has lost its golden charm. But of course in a lot of cases it does make sense to make a quick exit when a good amount of sincere effort has gone into maintaining the relationship. But easier said than done- how does one decide when to draw the line?
The problem's not with love but with the people who are in it and know not how to handle it. You need 2 hands to clap and hence co-operation from both partners is necessary to ensure a harmonious and fruitful relationship. With a similar logic not one but both are to be blamed for a troublesome situation; but as I had heard someone saying Love is Irrational... Long live love and it's irrationality- only then could be produced more matter for the silver screen :P
Would I fall in love? Ha ha ha... I love myself too much to let myself suffer. Unless under some life threatening compulsion I would say that the farther away I am from this vicious trap the better. Just kidding folks!!! Live and let live... :D. One life- Live life king size-love or no love
PS: The inspiration behind penning down my thoughts has been another blog which I just read a while ago :)
Let me also mention that I have left out the psychopath and sadist cases who derive pleasure out of torturing in the name of love- those who seek love to hide under it's false pretense to gain acceptance and to shield one's insecurity. I thought that such cases did not fall under the 'normal' love cases.
9 comments:
wah wah...kya baat hai...main kiha sab kuch hi likh daala ek hi blog mei :) I must say...its beautifully written.
I agree with u on the point that expectation is the main problem. I usually say 'Expectation leads to the way of broken hearts'. But u know one thing, u can not control it, after all we are human beings :)
I never thought You could write :)
I must say a very good piece of work. The flow is awesome and vocabulary is very good.
Any one who has been in love will definitely agree to most of the things you have written about.
Keep blogging and next time try to make it smaller piece :)
Very good. Quite true, in fact! Love is a bother, but as someone somewhere has said "Par kya karen, control hi nai hota!"
hmmm ... nice perspective, let me give you mine... If someone says Love hurts then they don't understand wat love is.. they hav never been in love... cause love can never hurt.. LOVE as u rightfully pointed is giving up selfishness .. a unification of two souls... where there is no "yours and my happiness" but there is only happiness... No matter wat happens you would always be happy for the choices that your partner will make… and you always Evolve with Love (that’s my blog title btw :))
Expectations and Possessiveness is again not such a bad thing… if in doubt look at the purest form of love—that of a small child…
The mistake people do is loosing their independence when in a relationship.. which eventually suffocates every relationship.. the key to being in love is never to loose your independence.. I remember a line I read long back… “I love you not cause what you are but the way you make me feel when I am with you.. respecting my independence at the same time cherishing yours.”
Very true... but that's love in its ideal form which is unfortunately rarely found.
Well, suks and the topic of love!!! Still remember a harsh mail on that topic sometime bak and the poor victim cudnt figure out what hit him :)
Neways, "attempting" to add my 2 paise (cents? seen too many of my 2 cents kinda articles, but then ive never used cents in my life so that wudnt carry even 2 cents of value rite? ...not that ive used 2 paise either, but thatz digressing ;)). There seem to be multiple threads running in the article - what is love, does one need love, relationships and risks... all i can say is pplz its like summarizing wat happenz in an adult's entire lifetime and none of our lives are the same rite!!
The article put forth valid views on expectation and possessiveness as well as the need for 2 hands (i wud assume of of each partner in this case:) ) to clap...so suks does kno how to manage a relationship :P.... but it does seem to be on a collision course with the "ideal". Agreed ideal can never be real but then if u read Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged or any bit of Ayn Rand (not that im an ardent Ayn Rand fan) its manz search to be the ideal that plays such an important role throughout life.
A relationship needs work, to build and to maintain...so wat makes one go through all the effort? U could say there 100s of reasons but then to me that would summarize love. Yea, there could be some ulterior motives but are all ulterior motives wrong (food for thought here). Now, for all those who say that the outcome may be painful, true it may be painful but then, ure that much the richer by the experience. Just bcoz uve fallen down from a bicycle duznt mean that u wud never want to ride a bike again....Its all about perspective, i could stand by the bank and plan for ever or just take a plunge and hope for the best....!!!! (Id do the latter anyday) :)....
Well written must say!..
Love has many facets..truly all movies are based on that!
all sins known to mankind has its root in love and all acts of greatness too stem from love! so what is it that distinguishes the two is still unanswered!
Burden of expectations from parents can kill students forget what "Expectation" can do to a lover that he has from his/her beloved!
but the fact still remains you only expect something from somebody if u love them! unless u are getting paid from what u are doing!
Love is not about expecting its about giving! its not about profits its about the losses! the one who gives and does not expect is the one who is truly in love.
EASIER SAID THAN DONE THOUGH!
As usual all 'Correct' things in life are easy to preach but difficult to follow.
People end up doing things which they are not supposed to and were warned time and again for not doing!
But its said the 'The heart has a mind of its own'...
Attachment: is the root cause of all problems.
Everything emnates from attachment.
A Mother is attached to her kids,
a kid to his parents
a sister to her brother
a student to his teacher
a lover to his/her beloved
Its difficult to be detached from the rest of the world as the WORLD influences u.
BUT, what happens to the child when his parents die,
what happens to the brother when his sister has kids and a husband to love,
what happens to lover when his 'Trust' is broken.
They do live! right
With TIME all of them forget what happened!
every emotion which we encounter is temporary, and nothing that comes to you lasts forever!
but it does make difference u become wiser and much more experienced!
Forget about what u lost, focus on what u gained.
be optimistic in life..
if all good things in life don't last for long, the same works for all bad experiences too!
so be happy and make others happy!
Good Good :) Live and let live :)
can write on this pages after pages!
the topic is never ending and its depth is unfathomable!
But the fact remains only the one who is experienced will be able to contribute!
Girte hai sher Maidaane jung me
kya khaakh ladenge wo jo ghutno k bal chala karte hai!
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